jueves, 21 de abril de 2011

Bitching again

A child of five to approximately nine years of age, in the concrete operational stage of cognitive development believes that death can be avoided.  Furthermore, a child in this egocentric phase also believes that his or her parent died because either the parent was bad or the child was bad, and that if the child is good, the parent can return.  This is thus seen as one of the most vulnerable and difficult developmental stages for adjusting to a parent’s death. The child at this stage needs someone who can clarify what the child is thinking and feeling, can reframe events to make them more understandable, can reassure and build self-esteem by praising the child’s accomplishments and by emphasizing the child’s importance.

Thus, if a parent dies before formal operational cognition has been achieved, the child will experience a deeper level of grief when he or she attains that cognitive stage and fully and deeply comprehends the finality and irreversibility of the loss.  This usually occurs in early adolescence, another  particularly vulnerable time in the process of adjusting to a parent’s death and in overall development.  Christ (2000, pp. 190-91) calls the adolescent’s profound experience of his or her loss due to the attainment of formal operational thinking, coupled with adolescent developmental tasks such as separating from family, negotiating a more adult relationship with the surviving parent, finding one’s identity and true values and deepening relationships with peers “daunting challenges for adolescents that often exacerbate pre-existing vulnerabilities.”

The loss of a parent in a child’s infancy, especially if that parent was the primary caregiver, will inevitably lead to difficulties in attachment and trust, and consequent feelings of anger or  depression as the child grows and is unable to attach or become intimate with others.  In order for such an individual to successfully relocate and internalize the deceased parent, as well as complete Worden’s other tasks, he or she will need to transfer the process to other figures, such as a trusted teacher or therapist, in order to reconstruct his or her parental loss and the deceased parent’s place in his or her life, and it is the job of the grief therapist and others in the child’s life to support and facilitate that process.


"¿Qué edad tenías cuando falleció?" "Ocho" "Qué edad dificil" creo que me dijo eso, me lo dijo 2 veces exactamente igual así que debería recordarlo, pero no estoy segura. En su momento pensé "Como si hubiera una edad donde fuera fácil", pero al parecer tenía razón, era la edad más dificil. En fin.

miércoles, 6 de abril de 2011

Snatched

He finally realized, sometimes, even if you want something real bad, you shouldn't have it.